I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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