i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
