Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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