You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
