He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
