we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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