Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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