what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize