It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
