Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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