Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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