It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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