Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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