I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
