im six kinds of drunk right now
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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