girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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