apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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