i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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