The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
