His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
