i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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