I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I could fuck to npr.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
