Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I cockslap morals
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
