dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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