Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Life without a bra equals bliss.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
