He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
