This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
tell me about the fingering
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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