I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize