i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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