Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
