no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
