I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
