I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize