Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
