I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
