i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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