I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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