no, he came in my armpit
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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