i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize