But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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