there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm bleeding and have questions
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
