i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
