I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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