She said her name was "party"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
