I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
