there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
