Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
