I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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