Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
