I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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