So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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