did you get engaged???
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
