Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
