Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
