please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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