it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Terrible idea I love it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize