I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
