It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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