I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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