You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
