Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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